LONDON, JANUWARI 8, 2016
ngu-ALEXANDER FURY
Buza uCraig Green-oyena mntu uthandwayo kwifashoni yaseBhritane-indlela aziva ngayo ngokubhalwa ngolu hlobo, kwaye ushwabene impumlo yakhe kancinane kwaye usineke ngokungafanelekanga. “Asiqali ngengqiqo,” utsho enyusa amagxa. "Zizinto nje eziziva zilungile." Mhlawumbi yiyo loo nto imiboniso kaGreen, kunye neempahla zakhe, zivakala kakhulu. Akukho nto ininzi yokuphoswa xa echaza iimpahla zakhe: Imalunga namalaphu kunye nobuchule. Kunye neeNtsapho zaseSylvanian. “Baphefumlele yonke imibala ekuqaleni,” watsho, esongeza ngokukhawuleza, “. . . mhlawumbi akufanele ndikuxelele loo nto."
Njengangaphambili, iireferensi zeereferensi ezifakwe kwiingubo eziGreen zifaniswa kuphela nezo zifundwe ngumbukeli ngamnye kuzo. Onke laa malungu mancinci adibanisa aphelele. Inxibelelana nento evakalelwa kukuba ilungile: Ngeli xesha, uGreen wayecinga, ngendlela engaqondakaliyo, malunga nentsha kunye nendala, malunga nokulahlwa—wakhankanya izikrweqe zasesibhedlele ezikrazukileyo, iimpahla zakhe ezihlala zifana nqwa—xa uthelekisa nezinto ozigcina ngonaphakade. “Njengeengubo,” watsho ejula izandla ebonisa amaqhina ahonjiswe ngobuchule, ahonjisiweyo, ahlanjwayo, aphinda ahlanjwa afana nala uLinus ewabambe kwimicu yamandongomane.
Ezo ngcamango zadlalwa ngokuphindaphindiweyo: I-bouclé yayi, ngamazwi kaGreen, "njengethawula endala"; iisilika kunye nesikhumba (ixesha lokuqala iGreen isebenzise nokuba yiyiphi) yacutshungulwa kakhulu, ngesandla, yahlanjwa, kwaye yahlanjwa kwakhona, imibala eyoyisiweyo yokugula i-riposte, wathi, kwiibrights ze-asidi zexesha elidlulileyo. Ngokwahlukileyo koko, ezinye izambatho zazibotshelelwa ngokuqinileyo—ngokusisigxina—ngokuchasene nomzimba, okanye zahlulwe ngokufakwa amaqhosha okanye amaqhosha ebotshelelwe nje ngesiqingatha, ngokungathi abanjwe umzuzwana ngaphambi kokuba asuswe. Olo luvo, lokwahlulwayo ngokuchasene nephakade, yinto yefashoni ephikisana nayo njengenxalenye yomfanekiso omkhulu ngoku. Yiyo loo nto iibhrendi zisahlula phakathi "kwefashoni" kunye "nobunewunewu," yangaphambili ibhekisa kwisiphithiphithi sexesha le-flibbertigibbet, le yokugqibela kwizitayile ezakhelwe ukuhlala ngonaphakade. Ii-CEO ze-Conglomerate ziyasokola ukusonga iintloko zazo zilungelelanisa ezo ziqhayiya zimbini; ukubona umyili eluhlaza njengoBuhlaza eyibethelela kuyabamba.
Ukucinga emva kuLinus, kwaye ngenene kuzo zonke izinto ezingenanto zabuntwana, andizange ndikwazi ukuzibamba kodwa ndikhubeka kwingcamango yokhuseleko. Yiyo loo nto sibambelela kwezo zilaphu zelaphu, emva koko-ukuziva sikhuselekile. UGreen wavula umboniso wakhe ngesuti yehazmat elungiselelweyo-wabhekisela kwiyunifomu; ukwahlula ngokwemaleko; I-doublepoint doubles yee-knights zamaxesha aphakathi, ezihlohlwe ukukhupha iimilo zeconvex yesikrweqe sepleyiti. Uhlaza wabiza iipads ezifakwe phantsi ezibanjwe ezandleni zemodeli okanye ezijingayo kumabhanti azo "iingxowa zokubhoboza". Ekuqaleni wayeza kuzibhinqisa iimodeli zakhe, ngokungathi uzixhobisa ngokuchasene nehlabathi.
Kunzima ukukhomba ukuba kutheni le ngqokelela ivakale ilungile, njengoko uGreen esitsho. Kodwa yakwenza oko. Mhlawumbi kungenxa yokuba, njengoko iimarike zezimali zehlabathi zingcangcazela, kwakhona-i-2.3 yeebhiliyoni zeedola zacinywa kule veki-sonke sifuna ukuziva sikhuselekile. Mhlawumbi uGreen ngokwakhe uziva elumkile, kwaye engaqinisekanga, umyili oselula obonisa kwishishini elinesiphithiphithi, elineziseko zalo eziguquguqukayo njengoko sibukele. Kodwa wakha njani ukhuseleko kwingqokelela yakhe, kuba iimpahla zikaGreen-italente yakhe-zinjalo. Zizikrweqe zakhe ezichasene nelizwe lefashoni. Kwaye bahluke ngokupheleleyo kwaye bahlukile. Akukho mqondo ofunekayo.