LONDON, JANUARY 8, 2016
ngu-ALEXANDER FURY
Buza u-Craig Green—umdwebi womqondo oyintandokazi wemfashini waseBrithani—ukuthi uzizwa kanjani ngokubhalwa ngale ndlela, futhi ushwabana ikhala lakhe kancane futhi asineke ngokungakholwa. “Asilokothi siqale ngomcabango,” ehlehlisa amahlombe. "Yizinto nje ezizizwa zilungile." Mhlawumbe yingakho imibukiso kaGreen, nezingubo zakhe, zizwakala kakhulu. Ayikho i-gumption enkulu ephonswa nxazonke lapho echaza izingubo zakhe: Konke kumayelana nezindwangu namasu. Futhi Imindeni YamaSylvanian. “Bakhuthaze yonke imibala ekuqaleni,” esho, enezela ngokushesha, “. . . mhlawumbe ngingakutsheli lokho."
Njengangaphambili, izendlalelo zezinkomba ezishumekwe kuzingubo zeGreen zifaniswa kuphela yilezo isibukeli ngasinye esizifunda kuzo. Zonke lezo zingxenye ezincane zifinyelela ekupheleleni okukhulu. Kuhlotshaniswa nalokho okuzwakala kulungile: Kulokhu, uGreen wayecabanga, ngamafuphi, mayelana nokusha nokwakudala, mayelana nokulahlwa—wakhuluma ngezikhuhla zasesibhedlela ezidabukisayo, izingubo zakhe ezivame ukufana nazo ngendlela ekha phezulu—kanye nezinto ozigcina phakade. “Njengezingubo zokulala,” esho ejikijela izandla ekhombisa izindwangu ezifekethisiwe ezifekethisiwe, eziphahlwe ngamapulangwe, zawashwa, zaphinde zawashwa ezifana nalezi ezibanjwe uLinus emicushweni yamahlaya kaMakinati.
Leyo mibono yadlalwa ngokuphindaphindiwe: I-bouclé, ngokusho kukaGreen, "ifana nethawula elidala"; usilika nezikhumba (okokuqala uGreen esebenzisa noma yiziphi) zacutshungulwa kakhulu, ngesandla, zawashwa, futhi zaphinde zawashwa, imibala egulayo ephansi yaba i-riposte, wathi, ekukhanyeni kwe-asidi yesizini edlule. Ngokuphambene, ezinye izingubo zaziboshelwa ngokuqinile—unomphela—emzimbeni, noma zikhishwe ngokuleyishwa noma izinkinobho ziboshwe ingxenye eyodwa kuphela, njengokungathi zibanjwe umzuzwana ngaphambi kokuba zikhishwe. Lowo mbono, wokungabekezeleki uma kuqhathaniswa nokwaphakade, into yemfashini ephikisana nayo njengengxenye yesithombe esikhulu njengamanje. Kungakho amabhrendi ehlukanisa phakathi "kwemfashini" kanye "nokunethezeka," okokuqala kubhekiselwa kusiphithiphithi sesizini se-flibbertigibbet, izitayela zakamuva eziya ku-staid ezakhelwe ukuhlala phakade. Ama-CEO e-Conglomerate athwala kanzima ukugoqa amakhanda abo ukuze abuyisane nalokhu kuqhosha okubili okuphambene; ukubona umklami eluhlaza njengoGreen eyibethela kuyamangaza.
Uma ngicabanga ngoLinus, futhi ngempela kuzo zonke izingubo zethu ezingenalutho zasebuntwaneni, angikwazanga ukuzibamba ngiwela emcabangweni wokuvikela. Yingakho sibambelela kulezo zicucu zendwangu, ngemva kwakho konke-ukuzizwa sivikelekile. UGreen uvule umbukiso wakhe ngesudi ye-hazmat eklanyelwe—wabhekisela kumayunifomu; ukuthunga izingubo; ama-doublepoint aphindwe kabili ama-knights enkathi ephakathi, agxishwe ukuze akhiphe umumo we-convex we-armor yepuleti. UGreen ubize amaphedi agqishelwe phansi abanjwe ezandleni zamamodeli noma alenga emabhandeni awo ngokuthi “izikhwama zokubhoboza” zakhe. Ekuqaleni wayezowabopha ngamamodeli akhe, njengokungathi uwahlomisa ngokumelene nomhlaba.
Kunzima ukukhomba ukuthi kungani leli qoqo lizizwe lilungile, njengoba kusho uGreen. Kodwa kwaba njalo. Mhlawumbe kungenxa yokuthi, njengoba izimakethe zezimali zomhlaba zizamazama, futhi-ama-dollar ayizigidi eziyizinkulungwane ezingu-2.3 asuliwe kuleli sonto-sonke sifuna ukuzizwa sivikelekile. Mhlawumbe uGreen ngokwakhe uzizwa exwayile, futhi engaqiniseki, umklami osemusha obonisa embonini eneziyaluyalu, izisekelo zayo eziguqukayo njengoba sibuka. Kodwa wakha kanjani ukuvikeleka eqoqweni lakhe, ngoba izingubo zikaGreen-thalenta lakhe-zinjalo nje. Ziyizikhali zakhe ezimelene nezimo zomhlaba wezemfashini. Futhi zihluke ngokuphelele futhi zihlukile. Awukho umqondo odingekayo.